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Not to take credit for the FCA-PSA merger, but it was all my accidental doing

Published in blog.hemmings.com

Photos by David LaChance (left) and the author (right).

You’ve surely heard by now that the FCA (Fiat-Chrysler) and PSA (Peugeot-Citroen) merger is on like Donkey Kong. How did this come about, you ask? I think it was all because of me.

You see, since they put the metal plate in my head some months back, I’ve noticed that my brain has become a sort of transmitter, broadcasting my thoughts across the universe at multiples of the speed of light. As those thoughts bounce off the galaxies and return to Earth in the form of cosmic background radiation, they reach the minds of others who take them as their own thoughts.

I first noticed this phenomenon about the time I wrote that Citroen centennial story focused on GM’s nixed plans to buy the French carmaker not long after it was founded. I didn’t think much of it at the time, but the story contained an interesting tidbit: Walter P. Chrysler was tentatively tapped to head the Citroen operation for GM, had the deal gone through.

The ability to broadcast my thoughts became stronger after they tightened the screws on the metal plate, right about the same time I was putting together the stories on the Omnirizon and the Espace, two vehicles that originated from the collapse of Chrysler Europe in the late Seventies and whose development stories were deeply intertwined with the formative years of Groupe PSA.

So, as I see it, the intense brainwaves I generated in researching and writing those stories made their way back to FCA and PSA executives, who interpreted the thoughts as “Wouldn’t it be great if we could reunite Walter P. Chrysler with Citroen, as nearly happened?” and as “Hey, a couple really great vehicles came out of the dust-up of Chrysler’s last brush with Peugeot and Citroen, so why don’t we give that another whack?” The what-could’ve-been aspect of the Espace story then gave a final push to the concept of making it happen instead of just wondering what-if.

Also, I noticed that the guy who restocks the vending machine here at Hemmings HQ tripled the number of chocolate chip cookies in the machine not long after after I bought the last cookie and intensely wanted more. If that’s not proof positive, I don’t know what is.

So if you made a killing on the stock market on the news of the merger, you’re welcome.

I’m trying to use my newfound abilities for good, I promise. For example, it’s high time that the Herkimer Battle Jitney came out from its hiding spot for the benefit of all humanity. Allow me now to broadcast that thought. I will update you all when that occurs.