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Ford to launch e-Dsel electric vehicle division

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[Editor’s note: The information in this story was leaked to us with the understanding that we wouldn’t publish it until after 12:01 a.m. on April 1, but since we don’t publish a Saturday Daily, we’re opting to run it early.]

Ford Motor Company is poised to launch a new division to build fully electric vehicles, Hemmings Motor News News has learned. The new division will be called e-Dsel, putting a high-tech spin on a widely recognized name, and will make its debut in a locked room in the bowels of the Javits Center at the New York International Auto Show in April.

Corporate insiders revealed that the new e-Dsel division will offer a range of four sedans, to go on sale on September 4 of this year. Judging by the leaked studio shot of a pre-production prototype shown here, these will feature retro-inspired styling. There will also be an SUV, a pickup truck, a delivery van, a moped, a garden tractor, a unicycle, a pogo stick and a line of designer earbuds, all offered under the e-Dsel brand.

The e-Dsel Division is the result of a $4.5 trillion investment in electrified vehicles announced by Ford earlier this year. Production will take place at the automaker’s Flat Rock Assembly Plant in Michigan, which plans to add at least seven new jobs, some of which will be part-time. HMN has learned that the technology the vehicles will employ will rely on electric motors and batteries of some kind, and that the cars will have a range enabling them to make it from one charging station to another, so long as they’re no more than 25 miles apart.

The new name is certain to stir controversy, and has already generated some dissent at corporate headquarters. Many alternatives, such as Utopian Turtletop, The Intelligent Whale and “Mercury,” were considered before e-Dsel was arrived at. “Look, we all know this is commercial suicide,” a source, who was calling from under a table in the boardroom, whispered. “We’re not idiots. But Fieldsie [Ford president Mark Fields] was absolutely insistent – apparently, his uncle Failor Olp once had an Edsel, and he had fond memories of it. Uh-oh, I think he heard me. Gotta go.” Executive Chairman William Clay Ford Jr. was also rumored to be lobbying heavily for the choice, wishing to have his grandfather’s name remembered in a better light.

GTB, Ford’s advertising agency, is believed to be working on an animated rendition of Edsel Ford in a Tron-inspired outfit, to be used in a massive television ad campaign.