Be forewarned! Trickery is or may be afoot today. Mischief and tomfoolery may encroach on your well-deserved slumber and quietude, so in order to prepare you for the worst that imps and villains may attempt to afflict upon your head, we have instituted this forum in which you may share with others the trickery that you or others may have perpetrated on this vilest of days.
Such “pranks,” as the degenerates call them may occur in or on your selected means of conveyance, a most heinous means of attempting to extricate some amusement at the misfortune of others. For instance, we came upon one such despicable act courtesy Bryan “Professor Laughswell” Wood, a learned man who must surely have related the anecdote to atone for his dastardly action:
The greatest car prank I ever pulled, and I laugh about 20 year on, was when I ran the windshield washer hose of a friend’s car to a nozzle rigged under the steering wheel to spray him in the crotch.
I then played a waiting game that felt like it lasted 3 months, until one morning on the way to work he needed to clean the windshield.
We plead with you, take this merely as advice on how to protect yourself. Do not be tempted to walk down Professor Laughswell’s path yourself, nor undertake any similar misbegotten deeds involving car horns wired to honk when the headlights are turned on or low-level voltage applied to door handles. Such mirth is only for misanthropes. Do not force us to call the constabulary on you.